Stalex goes to the Garden State: 14MAR 2014

Friday March 14th, 2014: Pie day. 53 degrees, windy. Adventure weather. Stalex awoke at the Opa-Oma Homestead early. A mere two hours later after a lot of showering, make-up, not hustling, and impatient waiting they mounted that familiar fiery red steed Swiper and headed off across the rolling hills of northern Harford County bound for the Garden State. Three minutes later, Stacey's girl brains decided they didn't feel like driving anymore so a brief stop at Wawa saw a driver swap, coffee/chocolate milk, and a breakfast Sizzli in each lap. A short time later, the Ole Susky had been crossed by way of the Conowingo Dam, I-95 had been mounted, and the Old Line state had been left behind. The Delaware Memorial Bridge, once looming in the distance was now in the rear view mirror. Stalex was in New Jersey.

Alex was particularly taken aback by the small town and rural American landscape while Stacey played Snapchat or something. Some time later, after a disgruntled Wawa employee or two, Stalex arrived at destination number 1: a uniform store in Cape May where I needed to pick up a few things for work. It was noon on the dot and they had closed an hour earlier. Well that was a wasted trip I mumbled as we began the drive home. The End.

On second thought, the day was still young and the fun had only begun. We headed for the Wildwood Naval Air Museum and were greeted by a donation box in lieu of a museum attendant. Spike Lee once taught me to do the right thing, so $10 later we were playing some serious make believe. Apollo 13 by the Space Shuttle model, A-team next to the Huey, and of course Tom Cruise by the F-14.. all of the classics.

Square peg, round hole

Next up on the Stalex agenda was a slight detour to a different uniform store were I did in fact buy some things I needed for work. You see, recently I've let myself go a little bit and my work uniform has become a little restricting in some of my lumpy places. A nice new baggy set of threads now allows me to eat all of the delicious foods I've come to know and love with seemingly no regard for my appearance in the office place. Back to New Jersey though.. With a little Dorito/Kit-Kat fuel, Stalex was now en route the ultimate East Coast Funderdome: Atlantic City.

Since I'm sort of a poor person, the cheapest looking casino from a distance was targeted which just so happened to be the same place a quick google search had recommended for $5 blackjack: The Showboat. Stalex spent the next two hours cautiously at times, recklessly at others, playing blackjack until a stroke of good luck put them back in the positive and it was time to call it a day $40 richer. Ten minutes later a half Sausage Parmesan and a half Italian sub were shared at White House Sub Shop, a classic little corner spot with friendly service and great atmosphere where the generously portioned subs weren't necessarily anything to write home about but far from the worst I've ever had. Overall a great experience, I'll give it a B+. Belly's stuffed, it was now time to begin the return trek home.

Seeing as the calender had aligned (or circled?) the numbers 3 and 14, it was in fact Pie Day and what better way to celebrate than with a stop at one of New Jersey's hundreds of billions of roadside diners. A short distance from the Delaware Memorial Bridge lies Woodstown, NJ and in it, a diner bearing the town's namesake. I had a slice of Boston Creme (maybe the least pie-ish pie but excellent none the less). She had apple with a scoop of vanilla. Both delicious. Slightly pricey for two cups of coffee and two slices of pie but a great diner none-the-less, a solid B.

The last leg of the return trip took what seemed like much longer than it's actual 60ish minutes but before long Stalex was west of the Susquehanna, Swiper was back in the driveway, The Garden State's bottom portion had been conquered, another road venture had come to an end.

Green Ridge State Forest: 6-8OCT 2013

This blog's inaugural entry will be the tale of the first camping trip Stalex ever went on. Late in the evening on Saturday, October 5th 2013 after several weeks of planning and anticipation, Alex received a startling text from Stacey. In it, Stacey explained that unless Alex made their relationship official via Facebook, she would not be accompanying him to Green Ridge State Forest. Not long prior, after an argument and out of sheer spite, Alex not only changed his relationship status to single but removed it from his profile and and with a full break-up imminent, he simply wasn't willing to change anything. After arriving home from work the next morning, he caught a few hours of sleep prior to departing on what would now be a solo camping trip. Before he could set off however and as fate would have it, Stacey's girl brains intervened because they couldn't resist the idea of a romantic adventure with the love of her life; as he stepped outside to begin packing the car, there she was with an angry mug and attractive girl parts.

An hour later, filled with gas (not petrol because this is America and I'm not a pathetic wiener-boy who has to find romance overseas in countries that are best known for needing America's help in World Wars) and packed to the brim, a Subaru wagon carried the still spiteful couple over the hills of the I-70 west corridor through Howard county bound for Western Maryland. After a brief intermission in Hancock to watch the Ravens beat the stupid Dolphins, Stalex was passing through the Sideling Hill road-cut and gazing upon the wild splendor that is 47,560 acres of the Old Line State's largest continuous slab of public land.

After checking in and selecting a camping site at the headquarters, a 45 minute drive on eroded fire roads brought Stalex to campsite 84, one of the forest's most remote, not-so-conveniently being currently occupied by a group of dingbats that decided to not register for their stay. After a brief encounter and another 45 minute car ride, Stalex was back at the visitor's center selecting another campsite. This one (54 I believe), as they would soon find out, had a nasty hornet infestation over the summer and was closed to campers, a tidbit that apparently wasn't worth noting on the registration sheet at the headquarters to save another lengthy car ride. After more driving, a stop at the scenic Point Lookout view of the upper Potomac and the bordering West Virginia, and well past sunset, Stalex settled into site 62, a secluded little plot of flat ground deep in the southern boundaries of the forest.

Point Lookout overlooking the Potomac River and West Virginia

The first night was filled with booze, beans, and BBQ chicken shared over a campfire. Because this was their first camping trip and they wanted to enjoy themselves, nature decided to take a piss on their dreams by having Stalex awaken to a steady downpour the next morning. a few burnt eggs and sausage links later, a driving tour of the forest seemed like an excellent way to go exploring without letting the rain completely dampen their spirits. Over the next few hours, Subaru's symmetrical AWD system coupled to a Thin Lizzy soundtrack whisked them around the park, past scenic overlooks, wild turkeys and deer, and 100 year old graveyards.

As luck would have it, upon returning the the campsite early in the afternoon, not only was the rain beginning to dissipate, but the sun was starting to peak through the foliage presenting some of the best fall camping weather either participant could have hoped for. Any residual spite had since washed away and Stalex actually started to fully enjoy the trip. Next up, and accompanied by seemingly endless cans of High Life, was an unsuccessful fishing jaunt at Bond's Landing on the Potomac River. Stacey's ever-interupting girl brains prevented her from catching anything and a stroke of bad  luck yielded the same results for Alex. The trip wasn't a total loss however, on the return trip to the campsite, peaking through the trees was a stop-worthy discovery: an abandoned railroad tunnel.

Stickpile Tunnel, GRSF

The second night played out much like the first: food cooked over the fire and booze, only this time Stalex was aided by dry wood from the only business found to be open within the confines of the park, a convenience store at a family campground near Little Orleans, MD. As the sun came up the following day, it was sadly time to pack up and return home. Another scenic drive saw Stalex's departure from GRSF and before long they were back in Baltimore. Not long after a dialogue was exchanged that went something like this:

"So that's it, we're broken u.."

"..Yes, we're done"

"Fine"

*door slams*

Within a week or so Stalex was back together and planning another adventure.